Random Ripples, Revealing Realities

• Where in the world are the Shake Shacks in Florida? They are not in the room with us...yet you see a Whattaburger on every other corner...Do better FL

  
  

• I've recently adapted to drinking black coffee... why? This is NOT a complaint, but the shelter I'm in doesn't supply creamer. BUT they have plenty of coffee and sugar, so that is good enough for me. I've looked at it like this: coffee with creamer is for taste and an energy boost, but black coffee—at least for me—is strictly for the purpose of waking up, period. It ain't got a thang to do with the taste. I simply drink it to give me a jumpstart on my day. I understand that being provided coffee in a shelter is a LUXURY and not a NECESSITY.

  
  

• When I first got to this shelter—and it is big—I was sleeping in here all alone... at night. I kept asking God why He would send me to a shelter with nobody in it. "I'm lonely, God," and so on. I told Him that I was scared to sleep in there at night, so for the first few nights, I kept a small light on. Around the third night, Jesus Himself told me to turn it off—that He had not given me a spirit of fear and that I was letting the devil punk me, basically. So I did, and I laid down. When I woke up the next morning, I realized I had slept like a baby. So, I kept sleeping with it off, and my body eventually got acclimated to the darkness. Keep in mind, I used to sleep in my apartment in the pitch black, but sleeping in a small, cozy space like that versus a big, open space are two totally different things.

  
  

• Some days... a lot of days, I miss the houseless people on the streets of Pensacola. When you have been in a small community of people for a long time, you can't help but get to know them—their names, their likes, their dislikes, their conversations, and the list goes on. There is one person in particular I used to hang out with frequently. I miss him sooo much... and no, he was not a love interest, y'all. He would just make me laugh so hard, and I enjoy being around funny people... not funny-acting... there is a difference. I don't know why, but I'm just realizing I had a lot of male connections in Pensacola... not many women. I can count on maybe one hand the amount of women I connected to.

  
  

• God had me looking at Saul and Samuel this morning. He was highlighting a few things to me... that Saul was a person who panicked in the face of adversity or when he was being pressed by the enemy. He reacted out of emotion and did what he "felt" was a good idea WITHOUT consulting God on the matter—without getting counsel from God or seeking His direction. Saul sacrificed the offering before Samuel got there, and he also kept the cattle, bulls, rams, etc. (the plunder) that God told him to completely wipe out from the Amalekites, I think. He didn't know how to take instruction from God. Correction: he knew how to TAKE instruction, but he didn't know how to follow through on it. He altered them to fit his desires and tried to make them "seem" like God's plan. Let us learn from this... it is best to wait on God and not move ahead of Him. I've been seeking God, y'all, these past few days like it's nobody's business because I DON'T want to move anywhere God didn't tell me to move. Just like this website I've been working on for MONTHS... I've been wanting to go public with it, but God kept telling me, "Not yet, not now," or remained silent altogether.

  
  

• Has anyone noticed that being in a relationship with God/Jesus is like being in a marriage? Boah... and that is all I will say about that, because the relationship space is not my ministry... at least not right now. God doesn't call me to speak on the issues of romance between men and women. Even Jesus said we should only be speaking on what we know... what we've experienced.

  
  

• I don't know who needs to hear this, but whether you have ONE follower or NO followers, whether you have ONE customer or NO customers....client etc.... you better keep being faithful to the assignment God has you on. Don't be like, "Oh Lord, no one is buying, no one is paying attention." Did you ever think that maybe God has you HIDDEN for a reason? It may be for your safety... or maybe it's just a matter of TIME. Like when Hannah felt overlooked by God and she wanted to get pregnant so bad but couldn't... then look what happened. Her time came, and she became pregnant with one of the greatest seers of all time: Samuel.

  
  

• I'm thinking about retwisting my hair since I'm finally in a place to do a little maintaining of my locs... because to be honest, I've let them go. Living outdoors is not about looking cute... it's about SURVIVAL.

  
  

• Someone on YouTube said that failure is a good thing because it means you ATTEMPTED. He said most people don't even bother putting themselves in a position of failure because, one, they have already convinced themselves they can't, and two, they're afraid of what the people around them would think. I agree with this sentiment. I may be on the street, and it may seem to other people looking at my life that I don't have much to lose, but baby, I got a lot to lose in Heaven that God has for me. But I will never get it if I choose not to have faith in Him that it will get done. I'm beating myself up because I'm trying to work in my own strength and pace instead of God's strength and pace. That's where a lot of us go wrong, but some of y'all are NOT even trying because you've already convinced yourselves that you cannot accomplish your goals, or you are afraid of what Kisha might think. I love my ancestors and previous generations, but I know for a fact (because God told me so) that they left so much on the table that God had for them. I refuse to let that be my story. I WANT IT ALL on this side of Heaven AND the other side... MmK?

  
  

• I hope Floridians don't take offense to what I'm about to say, but Pensacola is just NOT at all what I thought it was going to be... down to the beach. It's beautiful, but it's just okay. I can't speak for every city in Florida because I've only been to Miami, Siesta Key, St. Petersburg, Bradenton, Tampa, Orlando, Jacksonville, and a few others, but none of those listed are like Pensacola. To me, Pensacola feels like a desert... it is dirty. It could be so much better, but it's not well-kept. Only the areas near the beach are kept; once you cross those bridges... Pensacola is a different world. The people here are different; how they run Florida period is different. I could never lay down roots here or live here—no ma'am.

  
  

• And though my kids are grown and I don't have to worry about schools, I am concerned about the school systems here in this city. They are not good, and I question how much they are learning. If I had kids at this time, I would take them OUT of traditional schools and put them in smaller schools where their natural talents, skills, and giftings could be cultivated and developed by professionals, so they can learn in a way that SPEAKS to them. That was 90% of my problem with school: I was not being taught in a way that was suitable for my learning needs, and two, I was uninterested... unless it had something to do with art or speaking. (lol)

  
  

• Last but not least, wherever God has you at right at this very moment, work with what you have. That is the best advice I can give you. If you don't have it, that means God has deemed you don't need it AT THIS TIME... and that can be a hard pill to swallow for some. At least it was for me, because in my head, I kept saying, "Lord, but I don't have a laptop. But Lord, I don't have a house. But Lord... I don't have support." Baby, God said His grace was sufficient and I had everything I needed. And what do I need at this time? Wi-Fi, a computer or laptop, a phone, three hots and a cot. At the time, i was sleeping outdoors, but God has put a roof over my head by placing me in this specific shelter for now. God led me here, you guys. It is Him that is helping me along, and He can help you too if you allow Him. A closed mouth don't get fed, so ASK for what you need.

  
  

• I need a really good praise and worship playlist because my current one sucks. I really don't have one, if I'm being honest... I have songs I like or love, but I need a ready-to-go compilation I can throw on to get me in the mood of praising God because if i'm being honest....sometimes I have to force myself due to my circumstance...mood...and host of other realities....I'm looking for one that is upbeat, and another that is more calming and focused on the stillness of God, if that makes sense.

  
  

  If anyone has suggestions, please feel free to put them in the comments. And no, they do not have to be Black artists, lol. The local church I have been visiting here in Pensacola is actually a predominantly white church. Yes, I knew it was white before I went, and boy, was I nervous... but God told me to go anyway, and He ended up calming me.

  
  

  Their praise and worship team began, and I admit, I wasn't expecting much... Now, I'm not one of those people who go to church for entertainment like I used to. I go to hear what God is saying to ME, and most of all, to worship Him, right? So anyway, their live worship songs began, and there was a particular song I had never heard before. Listening to the lyrics, it began to make me cry...almost uncontrollably....ppl probably thought something was wrong but it was a happy, joyful cleansing cry....i began to put my hands up in the air...like i was coming clean to God.... understanding and letting Him know that I DONT deserve the things He has done for me but yet i'm grateful...and that my life reflects His love forgiveness, MERCY..... I had experienced those lyrics. I knew what God had done for me, so I could relate to what was being sung. My nose was running, y'all... I needed a Kleenex and ran to the back of the church to get one along with a complimentary bottle of water, lol.

  The church overall was a tad Different but not 'bad' if that makes sense... I'll talk about my observations and interactions later... just not here.

  K, ttyl. Ciao!

  
  
  
  

  

  
  

   Tashia L. McLayea

   Lead Architect | The Sovereignty Society